The Paradox of Planning
Ever found yourself bribing your way out of a country because you missed the fine print about visa rules? Welcome to my little crash course about planning: knowing when it’s must, and when it might just hold you back.
Reflecting on my trip to Georgia, I realized how my views on prejudice and expectations affect my planning habits. Here’s the dilemma: My life lacks adventure and new experiences due to the comfort zone I can’t seem to escape, and I’m half-assing the meaningful challenges that spark growth. In essence, I’m over-planning the trivial and under-planning the significant.
These reflections lead to a stark realization: I’ve got my wires crossed somewhere. While I meticulously map out low-stakes adventures, truly significant challenges - the ones that are source for personal growth - remain ignored. My tendency for planning, a byproduct of my engineering mindset, has always served me well, offering structure and sense of control in my life. Yet, over the past few years, I’ve noticed a shift. This once-beneficial trait now feels like a shackle, killing the unpredictability that adds spice to life. The biggest hitch? I’m at a point where I can’t get anything done without a plan.
This brings us back to a bigger question: If we’re always planning every step, are we missing out the best parts of life? The parts that happen when plans go sideways, or when there’s no plan at all? Can anything truly exciting ever happen in the meticulously engineered comfort zone?
The Paradox of Planning
Here’s the irony: tackling these issues means… yep, planning. But it’s clear too much planning is half the problem. The challenge is to strike that perfect balance between meticulous plans and the thrill of adventure. Sure, travel planning is a no-brainer - you’ve to got to nail down the logistics, like flights, budgets, and visas, to avoid hiccups.
But the planning doesn’t stop with travel. I’ve turned everything into a project, even budgeting for new pair of shoes as if it’s a major investment. This approach made sense when the money was tighter, but even now, with a bit more in the bank and less energy for rapid-fire country hopping, I find myself stuck in this planning loop. Spontaneous decisions? They rarely happen. That moment of inspiration on the road? Often squashed by my own over-preparedness.
The habit of turning even the simplest choices into elaborate plans means I miss out on the spontaneity of life. Sure, I avoid impulse buying shoes, but is there some greater expense I'm not noticing?
Me as an adventurer
Lately, my travel mantra has nudged just a tiny bit toward more spontaneity. I’ve tried only to ensure that visas, bookings, and the trip to the first accommodation are sorted. With time and budget in my backpack on my latest trip, Southeast Asia became my playground for spontaneity - no plans, no problems. Although a plan-less day trip to Siem Reap turned into a little crash course in the highs and lows of throwing caution to the wind, resulting in a mix of serendipity and slight chaos.
Arriving in Angkor, just a handful of US dollars in my pocket, I ventured into the temple ruins without a return plan - tiny plunge into the unknown. As I wandered through the ruins, contemplating my next move, along came Siv. Out of nowhere, this local guide offered his services. My gut reaction? Classic tourist trap or an adventure tailored for retirees. Yet, the additional promise of a ride back to civilization after the tour swayed me. What followed was an unexpectedly fun experience, teetering on the edge of thrilling and slightly reckless, as we darted around on his scooter and explored the ancient city. Dodging the constant sweat with the refreshing airflow, I couldn’t help but admit the charm of the situation. The scooter marathon actually ended at the airport - which was a bit overkill according to my back - but Siv’s knack for storytelling and going the extra mile (quite literally) earned him more than the usual fare.
At the airport, my latest rule concerning travel planning hit a snag. Despite having the visa requirements on my checklist, I missed the fine print: a mandatory day’s stay in Siem Reap. The legitimacy of this rule? Questionable. Luckily, a small bribe smoothed things over in my favor. It was quick lesson in the art of flexibility - and the unexpected risks of adventure.
But have I always been neurotic about planning my travels? The trip to China offers another classic ‘me’ travel tale. Post-vocational college, in 2010, a buddy and I embarked on a three-week adventure, with the Great Wall being a non-negotiable stop. Plan the visit? Not really. Our prep was as sophisticated as purchasing a bus ticket with limited communication skills. We got kicked off the bus at an arbitrary gas station and winged it from there. Getting back? A concept we acquainted ourselves with only after the fact, thanks to a lift from some locals, much to a certain taxi driver’s annoyance. Looking back, I’m amazed at our lack of prep. Was it bravery or just plain stupidity? Hard to tell.
What to plan less, what more and how to know the difference?
Life’s complexity often boils down to two seemingly simple questions about our approach to planning and living:
- What should I plan less?
- What should I plan more?
Answering what to plan less for splits into two buckets. Bucket one: fun stuff, like travel - experiences meant for enjoyment, not execution. Bucket two hinges on a simple check: ‘What’s the worst thing that can happen, and can I deal with it?’ If the answer is yes, let spontaneity take the wheel.
Addressing the second question unravels into two layers. The first layer concerns the dreams and ambitions we cherish, but seldom pursue - those persistent intrusive thoughts of ‘someday’. Achieving these things dream hinges on more than mere planning; it demands action. While whipping up a plan is a breeze, the real challenge lies in the execution. Remember, planning sets the direction, but only through action do we reach our destination.
The second layer mirrors the earlier simple check from the bucket, albeit with a twist: it’s less about handling the worst-case scenario, but more about how. Here’s where the game of life gets tricky - planning for those ‘just in case’ moments, creating safety nets for the curveballs life throws, whether it be personal health or finances. Sure, I can budget wisely and work out my body, but sometimes, despite our best plans, shit just happens. It’s not about avoiding every pitfall but having a plan for when the unexpected happens.
Then there’s the grey and blurry area bridging our two questions. Take my ‘just for fun’ bucket list - it’s crammed with fun yet unplanned adventures. Sure, the essence of fun is spontaneity, but a bit of groundwork can turn ‘someday’ into ‘today’. And yet, life’s not just a series of precautionary measures against the nuclear apocalypse or the eventual heat death of the universe. After all, we’re all on the same inevitable journey to eat dirt 6 feet under. The trick is finding the sweet spot where planning meets living, ensuring we squeeze every drop of joy out of the ride.
The new approach
I’ve been doodling on a fresh way to navigate through my decision-making maze. Thinking on paper usually does the trick for me, so here’s a peek into my notebook (good luck with my scribbles, by the way):
If my hieroglyphs seem too cryptic, here’s the gist: every intrusive thought that interrupts your day deserves a moment of your time to be weighted and measured. Whether it’s a desire to learn guitar or a serious career change, the first step is simple: decide if it’s worth exploring. If the thought doesn’t spark joy or purpose, let it go - it’s that simple. But if you’re nodding ‘yes’ or dancing around the ‘maybe’ territory, it’s time to delve deeper. There’s no need for rush: some ideas need to be baked, before their true flavor is revealed.
Next, assess the risks. Ask yourself, ‘Can something truly bad happen if I pursue this?’ If the risk is real, meaning like death or other bodily harm, and not just fear of failing or looking silly, then sketch out a safety net. Otherwise, embrace the insecurity and the challenge that comes with it - remember, no great story of personal growth started with ‘I played it safe’.
For those more complex ambitions, don’t be daunted by the mountain. Break it down into smaller, more manageable chunks of actions you can take one at a time. Save the money, learn the skills - whatever makes your goal achievable.
After you take action, reflect. Was it a hit or miss? This isn’t just about success or failure: it’s about learning what makes you tick and tearing down the barriers of doubt and hesitancy. Understanding yourself is the ultimate win, shaping how you navigate your future intrusive thoughts
So, is there some idea brewing in your mind? That one idea you can’t seem to shake - will you plan for it, or will you dive in headfirst? Just make sure if you’re diving headfirst, it’s not into the kiddie pool.